He stalks me, texts me constantly, and follows me: when is it stalking and what can I do?

There are situations that, especially after the end of a relationship or a personal bond, can start with persistent messages, phone calls, continuous requests for explanations, or seemingly harmless attempts to meet the other person, only to gradually turn into a real persecution. When these behaviors become repetitive and significantly impact the serenity, freedom, and daily life of the person experiencing them, they must not be underestimated. In such cases, one may enter the realm of stalking, commonly known as harassment. It is not necessary for there to be a physical assault; persecution can also occur through messages, phone calls, social networks, emails, stalking, surveillance, repeated presence in places frequented by the victim, or constant contact despite a clear desire to end all relations. The central element is represented by the repetition of the behaviors and the consequences they produce on the victim. The law indeed considers those behaviors that cause a serious and lasting state of anxiety or fear, a well-founded fear for one’s safety or that of a close person, or that force the victim to change their daily habits. This means that not every persistent behavior automatically constitutes the crime of stalking: it is essential to concretely assess the frequency, nature, duration, and modalities of the behaviors, in addition to the effects produced on the person. One of the most common mistakes is to wait for the situation to become even more severe before seeking help. Keeping messages, emails, conversations, calls, photographs, legal recordings, received communications, and any other useful elements can instead be crucial for reconstructing the persecutory behavior over time. Even episodes that may seem insignificant individually can take on a different value when considered together and placed in a chronological sequence. Special attention must be given to forms of stalking that develop through digital tools. Continuous messages, accounts used to monitor the victim, contacts from different numbers, comments on social media, persistent requests for localization, or attempts to control companionship can become part of a broader persecutory behavior. In this kind of situation, it is advisable not to address the problem solely on an emotional level but to proceed with a legal evaluation of the facts. A professional can review the available documentation, chronologically reconstruct the episodes, identify legally relevant elements, and assess which initiative is most appropriate. Depending on the circumstances, reporting or filing a complaint, requests for protection, and the measures provided by the legal system to safeguard the person from the continuation of the behaviors may be significant. The evaluation must be particularly careful when stalking is accompanied by threats, assaults, damages, economic control, domestic violence, or the dissemination of personal or intimate material. In these cases, one is not facing isolated episodes, but a more complex picture may emerge that requires a coordinated protection strategy. Even behavior following separation or the end of a relationship deserves special attention. The fact that individuals have had a past romantic bond does not grant anyone the right to control the other person, follow them, monitor their movements, demand continuous answers, or interfere in their private life. Similarly, the refusal to end a relationship cannot transform into a right to constant presence in the other person’s life. Therefore, when a person feels that the situation is escalating, it is important not to wait for the most serious episode before turning to a professional. Legal protection can be evaluated based on the specific situation and the available documentation. The fundamental point is to understand that stalking should not only be addressed when the persecution has become unbearable. Promptly recognizing the signs, preserving evidence, accurately reconstructing the episodes, and receiving qualified legal evaluation can enable one to tackle the situation with greater awareness and to identify practically usable protection tools. When a person no longer feels free to go out, frequent certain places, use the phone, post content on social media, or live their daily life normally because they fear someone’s reactions, it is time to stop and legally evaluate what is happening. Persecution should not become the new normal for the victim.